On another continent in a different hemisphere, I recognize the love you speak of here - her love for you, your love for her, and the love you both have for nature and beauty. I recognize it because I knew this love with my own grandmother, who passed away in 2015, a year before I got married, long into her life but not long enough into mine, it felt. I still miss her. But when I think of her now, I think of the black and white picture my mother keeps on her dresser, Grandma young and laughing and beautiful, and I know that in places I can't comprehend she's still smiling that smile that lit up the lakefront.
Best to you, Josh, as you move through the grief, and thank you for your words which build a bridge for all of us who grieve to feel less alone in the endeavor.
This is perfect and the words are just right. Thank you for sharing your grief and aroha for your Nana e hoa. Let the grief come and the tears fall and then go and look after the mint and rhubarb, write, paint and create memories for your children of a Nana who loved you very much. E te Rangatira, moe mai rā, moe mai rā.
I’m all too familiar with this feeling of restlessness brought on by the uncomfortable, overwhelming nature of loss. I think by writing this you’re on your healing journey. For me I have to hike in woods, sit by the sea or lay and stare up at the stars-as I am no writer or painter. There is no way but through, and sounds like your on your way. The loss of your Nana will always be with you, and honoring her through art and baking will get easier with time. I’m sorry for your loss. Sounds like you were blessed with an amazing Nana.
I lost my Nana 9 years ago and my only brother 2 years ago. Both of which were very significant losses. There have been plenty of others in between but those were two of my best friends in this world. And the thing I learned from them both is it doesn't matter how much time has passed, the grief lives in you forever. You learn to grown around it but it's always there.
There's two great go to quotes i love about death, dying and grief. The first is by Sir Terry Pratchett, which I included in the eulogy I wrote for my Nana, which goes: "No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away, until the clock wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone's life is only the core of their actual existence." If it wasn't for my Nana, I wouldnt be in the profession I am now. She decorated cakes as a hobby and now I do it as a professional baker. Every cake has a small amout of her in it.
And the second quote is from Marvel's WandaVision series. It was the last "normal" thing I had before losing my brother. I feel like it came at a time when I needed it most. Wanda grieving for her own brother and Vision trying his best to comfort her. And his quote to her is"What is grief if not love perservering?"
And I have clung to it ever since. The love I feel for my brother will never leave no matter how long he has been gone.
Wether its a song on the radio that brings my brother to mind, or the brief smell of lilacs in spring that reminds me of Nana, there's always something that I can hold on to. That perseveres. In a small way that helps keep them in my little world even though they're no longer physically here.
I wish you so much peace during this difficult time. It will not be easy but you will get there, I promise ❤️❤️.
That is a magnificent tribute to someone you loved very much and who loved you. She would most certainly be proud of you, and must have delighted in being part of your life.
Visited my 93 year old Nana yesterday, who lives in a rest home and struggles to stay in this time and place, and listened to her stories which used to be told linearly and concisely and now merge into a collage of experiences. Reading your poems brought me to tears both for your loss and for ours, gradual as it's been. Thank you for sharing your grief and I wish you many joyful memories of her.
Thank you for describing the rotisserie chicken of grief so well. Nana Del was clearly both talented and loving, I feel honored to have this glimpse of her life.
It's been a little over a year since my father passed and reading this is a reminder of how my grieving has changed over time. Sending aroha to you and your whanau.
What a beautiful, lovely, sad, joyous, reverence-filled tribute. I'm not a Nana, but this offering shows me exactly what kind of Nana I aspire to be, if ever so lucky. Much love to you inside the enormous grief. ps I have a feeling this poem will travel on and on, and be solace for so many. I can picture you writing it in the car on the way. Inspired gift of words (what else really matters in the continuing-ness, but responding to the call when you receive it?). Arohanui
My poppa would always farewell us from his bright yellow porch with “cheerio”, your words brought it back - thank you. Go easy on yourself, let yourself grieve. Arohanui.
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your Nana. She sounds like a wonderful woman and like you all shared lots of special memories together. I think the words you shared were perfect.
I understand the feeling of everything feeling wrong, a bit too hard, or a bit pointless. It's a really difficult and rough space to be in. In times when I've been in the depths of grief, I remember simultaneously wanting to feel different and also feeling like I had to stay with the pain and hold onto it because anything else would be a betrayal of the person I lost. So many big and sometimes opposing feelings to hold at once! The only advice I could offer (not that you asked :/) is to be gentle with yourself. Don't beat yourself for scrolling too much or not achieving as much as you think you should. I sometimes make wee deals with myself, like I have to do abc and xyz, and then I give myself full permission to scroll or netlfix or whatever the thing is for the rest of the day. I've found lowering expectations helps.
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Josh. But I am so glad she lived a long, full and artistic life, and was able to have so much quality time with you. She sounds like a wonderful woman.
I really empaphise with some of the feelings you mention, but it's so wonderful you were able to use them to write the words in the poem and this newsletter. All the best for your family x
Your poem made my morning tea salty. No words can truely describe how you are feeling but they did a pretty good job. I still feel a deep emotional attachment to my Nana who passed away 30 years ago, and every time I think of bananas on toast, Sally Lunn’s, big hugs, games of Uno etc I know that I am keeping that connection alive. I am sorry for your loss. Take care.
Sorry for your loss Josh. Thank you for sharing your nana’s beautiful words and painting with us. Grieving is a process of self/soul improvement so lean into it and let your body heal. Arohanui
This is so beautiful, Josh. Thank you for sharing your words and pictures and stories. The love and memories of your precious Nana is so life-affirming, abundant, warm. And a great help for me for what I know is coming for my Mum's journey, the fears and sadness I have as I watch her world becomes smaller and so frustrating for her, and the devastation I am trying in vain to prepare myself for.
Thank you for sharing your tribute, the gorgeous painting & the wonderful poems from both of you.. wishing you well & for some easier moments with fond memories.
Sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful piece of writing. You had me tearing up there. I lost both of my grandmothers in 2012. I was close with one of them and I wrote a poem for her too. It was like I needed to do something for her in her passing and although my words felt inadequate it was all I had.
On another continent in a different hemisphere, I recognize the love you speak of here - her love for you, your love for her, and the love you both have for nature and beauty. I recognize it because I knew this love with my own grandmother, who passed away in 2015, a year before I got married, long into her life but not long enough into mine, it felt. I still miss her. But when I think of her now, I think of the black and white picture my mother keeps on her dresser, Grandma young and laughing and beautiful, and I know that in places I can't comprehend she's still smiling that smile that lit up the lakefront.
Best to you, Josh, as you move through the grief, and thank you for your words which build a bridge for all of us who grieve to feel less alone in the endeavor.
This is perfect and the words are just right. Thank you for sharing your grief and aroha for your Nana e hoa. Let the grief come and the tears fall and then go and look after the mint and rhubarb, write, paint and create memories for your children of a Nana who loved you very much. E te Rangatira, moe mai rā, moe mai rā.
I’m all too familiar with this feeling of restlessness brought on by the uncomfortable, overwhelming nature of loss. I think by writing this you’re on your healing journey. For me I have to hike in woods, sit by the sea or lay and stare up at the stars-as I am no writer or painter. There is no way but through, and sounds like your on your way. The loss of your Nana will always be with you, and honoring her through art and baking will get easier with time. I’m sorry for your loss. Sounds like you were blessed with an amazing Nana.
Oh Josh, I am so sorry for your loss ❤️.
I lost my Nana 9 years ago and my only brother 2 years ago. Both of which were very significant losses. There have been plenty of others in between but those were two of my best friends in this world. And the thing I learned from them both is it doesn't matter how much time has passed, the grief lives in you forever. You learn to grown around it but it's always there.
There's two great go to quotes i love about death, dying and grief. The first is by Sir Terry Pratchett, which I included in the eulogy I wrote for my Nana, which goes: "No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away, until the clock wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone's life is only the core of their actual existence." If it wasn't for my Nana, I wouldnt be in the profession I am now. She decorated cakes as a hobby and now I do it as a professional baker. Every cake has a small amout of her in it.
And the second quote is from Marvel's WandaVision series. It was the last "normal" thing I had before losing my brother. I feel like it came at a time when I needed it most. Wanda grieving for her own brother and Vision trying his best to comfort her. And his quote to her is"What is grief if not love perservering?"
And I have clung to it ever since. The love I feel for my brother will never leave no matter how long he has been gone.
Wether its a song on the radio that brings my brother to mind, or the brief smell of lilacs in spring that reminds me of Nana, there's always something that I can hold on to. That perseveres. In a small way that helps keep them in my little world even though they're no longer physically here.
I wish you so much peace during this difficult time. It will not be easy but you will get there, I promise ❤️❤️.
I adore those quotes ♥️
Terry Pratchett has so many great ones, especially from his DEATH character ❤️
That is a magnificent tribute to someone you loved very much and who loved you. She would most certainly be proud of you, and must have delighted in being part of your life.
Visited my 93 year old Nana yesterday, who lives in a rest home and struggles to stay in this time and place, and listened to her stories which used to be told linearly and concisely and now merge into a collage of experiences. Reading your poems brought me to tears both for your loss and for ours, gradual as it's been. Thank you for sharing your grief and I wish you many joyful memories of her.
Gosh, I feel this so deeply, Jennifer. Thank you for writing this.
Thank you for describing the rotisserie chicken of grief so well. Nana Del was clearly both talented and loving, I feel honored to have this glimpse of her life.
It's been a little over a year since my father passed and reading this is a reminder of how my grieving has changed over time. Sending aroha to you and your whanau.
What a beautiful, lovely, sad, joyous, reverence-filled tribute. I'm not a Nana, but this offering shows me exactly what kind of Nana I aspire to be, if ever so lucky. Much love to you inside the enormous grief. ps I have a feeling this poem will travel on and on, and be solace for so many. I can picture you writing it in the car on the way. Inspired gift of words (what else really matters in the continuing-ness, but responding to the call when you receive it?). Arohanui
My poppa would always farewell us from his bright yellow porch with “cheerio”, your words brought it back - thank you. Go easy on yourself, let yourself grieve. Arohanui.
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your Nana. She sounds like a wonderful woman and like you all shared lots of special memories together. I think the words you shared were perfect.
I understand the feeling of everything feeling wrong, a bit too hard, or a bit pointless. It's a really difficult and rough space to be in. In times when I've been in the depths of grief, I remember simultaneously wanting to feel different and also feeling like I had to stay with the pain and hold onto it because anything else would be a betrayal of the person I lost. So many big and sometimes opposing feelings to hold at once! The only advice I could offer (not that you asked :/) is to be gentle with yourself. Don't beat yourself for scrolling too much or not achieving as much as you think you should. I sometimes make wee deals with myself, like I have to do abc and xyz, and then I give myself full permission to scroll or netlfix or whatever the thing is for the rest of the day. I've found lowering expectations helps.
Lots of love to you and your family xx
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Josh. But I am so glad she lived a long, full and artistic life, and was able to have so much quality time with you. She sounds like a wonderful woman.
I really empaphise with some of the feelings you mention, but it's so wonderful you were able to use them to write the words in the poem and this newsletter. All the best for your family x
Your poem made my morning tea salty. No words can truely describe how you are feeling but they did a pretty good job. I still feel a deep emotional attachment to my Nana who passed away 30 years ago, and every time I think of bananas on toast, Sally Lunn’s, big hugs, games of Uno etc I know that I am keeping that connection alive. I am sorry for your loss. Take care.
Sorry for your loss Josh. Thank you for sharing your nana’s beautiful words and painting with us. Grieving is a process of self/soul improvement so lean into it and let your body heal. Arohanui
This is so beautiful, Josh. Thank you for sharing your words and pictures and stories. The love and memories of your precious Nana is so life-affirming, abundant, warm. And a great help for me for what I know is coming for my Mum's journey, the fears and sadness I have as I watch her world becomes smaller and so frustrating for her, and the devastation I am trying in vain to prepare myself for.
My heart is with your heart.
Thank you for sharing your tribute, the gorgeous painting & the wonderful poems from both of you.. wishing you well & for some easier moments with fond memories.
Sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful piece of writing. You had me tearing up there. I lost both of my grandmothers in 2012. I was close with one of them and I wrote a poem for her too. It was like I needed to do something for her in her passing and although my words felt inadequate it was all I had.